Wonderland MD
by GirlX2
Summary: Wilson has a wondrous dream...Slight slash. Oneshot, written back in 2007. Based on the drawing "House MD Alice in Wonderland by Ery-chan" on Deviantart, NOT the Burton Movie.


Wonderland MD--A Drabble

By GirlX2

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A/N: This fic is based on the drawing "House MD+Alice in Wonderland by ~Ery-chan" on Deviantart, and was written LONG before the Burton movie. I strongly suggest you look at the drawing before reading this, to understand it!

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Wilson wasn't really sure how he'd ended up in the dress. He was even less clear on how he'd gotten to this strange checker boarded room, but somehow the dress thing was far more disturbing. He thought about tugging the little black hair bow off, but decided against it. It had to be a dream. What did he care if anyone saw him dressed like this?

The Oncologist pulled up short as a strangely familiar sight whizzed past him. "I did not just see a white rabbit with a waistcoat and a cane."

As much as he wanted this be true, it was painfully obvious that said rabbit existed.

"Do I have to start reciting Jefferson Airplane lyrics?" The scruffy hare winked at him and popped a pill from a bottle labeled 'Eat me'. He vanished from sight a moment later, leaving Wilson alone with the bottle.

He cautiously tapped a pill into his hand. Small, white, fairly inconspicuous. It could be anything.

"Eat from a bottle marked 'poison' and its sure to disagree with you sooner or later." Wilson murmured. Shrugging, he swallowed it.

He was falling moments later in utter and complete darkness. He almost had enough time to scream when he landed, unhurt, among a thick strand of trees.

"Twas billing and the slimy rogues did fire and gamble in the way. All misty were the boring pros, and the boss's wrath out gave."

Wilson looked up, trying to locate the owner of the accented voice. A neon striped cat leered down at him from a tree branch.

"Um…" Wilson cleared his throat. "Could you tell me where I am?"

"I would much rather tell you where to go." The cat answered lazily. He motioned to the right. "That way for the Mad Hatta, and the opposite direction leads to her Majesty's palace."

"I don't want to meet any mad people." Wilson replied.

"We're all mad here." The cat grinned at him.

"I'm not mad." Wilson said a tad indignantly.

"Of course you're not." The cat sounded very condescending. He flicked his tail in front of his face and very slowly began to face from view, leaving noting but the grinning set of fangs behind. Wilson stared at it for a few minutes before starting off to the left. A Queen was far better than a Mad Hatta.

He had only walked for a few minutes before coming up to the Palace. Strange fountains decorated it, burbling glass panes filled with bubbles. A long wooden table sat in the center of the ground with several figures seated at it. The Rabbit he'd seen earlier was there, conversing with a man in a huge top hat. The cat was there as well, stretched across a nearby tree limb. Last, what appeared to be a large playing card with a head was at the other end, carrying a teacup to the Rabbit.

"Excuse me…" Wilson began, starting forward.

A loud fanfare cut him off. Storming up the path, flanked by more of the card people, was a very angry looking woman in a crown.

"If you actually ordered a mushroom test to be done on the March Hare I am going to cut off your head!" She screamed this at the Rabbit.

"Relax, your majesty. It's strictly in the name of knowledge." The Rabbit twirled a cane in one paw.

"Well someone's head is going to roll!" The Queen raged.

Wilson shook his head and backed away slowly.

"How about him?" The Rabbit nodded at him.

"What?!" Wilson yelped. Two of the card guards flanked him quickly and pulled him closer to the gathering. "I have nothing to do with this!"

"Quit whining, you'll be fine." The Rabbit shrugged as a third guard brought out an ax.

"I'm going to lose my head because of you!" Wilson said angrily.

The Rabbit grinned at him. "It's not like it's the first time."

Wilson had only a moment to ponder this before the blade came shining down.

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*WHACK!*

"Wilson!"

The Oncologist jolted awake with a gasp. House was standing over him, cane poised to hit him again.

"What-Where-" He glanced around wildly. No card guards, no Rabbits, nothing. Just his office and House.

"If you needed sleep that badly we could just have skipped the sex last night." House pulled his cane back. "Would have saved you the bruised spine too, if you hadn't fallen off the bed."

Wilson rubbed a hand over his face. "Remind me never to take one of your pills again, no matter how bad the pain is. It apparently does not agree with me."

"I didn't want to share anyway." House shrugged and helped him to his feet. Wilson gave him a rather strange look. "What?"

"Do you happen to own a waistcoat?"

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Fin


End file.
